I Need You! Yes, YOU!

As most of you know from my last blog I was accepted to Iris Ministries Harvest School in Micronesia (a 3-month intensive missionary training school beginning August 19-October 19). While in the school I will be doing/learning amazing things! I will be:

Ø  Applying to be a long term missionary with Iris Ministries.

Ø  In prayer with my leaders to discern what people group/nation the Lord is calling me too.  I will then be trained how to reach that specific people group.

Ø  Taught practical skills for missionary living & taught to lead lives and ministries in the supernatural presence of the Lord through healing and miracles.

Ø  Go out into the surrounding communities of Micronesia for practical training to see the island completely transformed by the His love.

(For more information on the school/organization go to irisglobal.org)

I'm so excited!! Waaa!
While at this school I'll be challenged, pushed taught, and stretched beyond anything I'm currently able to concieve. The unknowns stretch out before me like a blank canvas, but two things are certain:

the One who holds the brush & that I will be beautifully, irrevocably changed.

 
In order to attend the school and the long-term mission assignment after, I must raise a total of $8300.
This will cover the costs of tuition and airfare/travel for the school and mission. I must raise
$4600 of those costs by July 13^th in order to attend and the remaining $3700 by September 1^st.

But I cannot do this without your support financially & in prayer!

This journey is not one I will be taking alone, but one that you and I must take together. By partnering with me through your prayers and finances you support the Kingdom and help to bring the name and love of Jesus through me. My journey becomes your journey, and this mission becomes one that we adventure through together.

If you would like to give to help finance me & lift me up in prayer I appreciate it and am so sincerely grateful for your support.  Whether you can give $1 or $100 every little bit helps and I consider it a blessing to have you partner with me in bringing His kingdom to every heart.

“Our Father is a king. And his kingdom is ready to invade on earth as it is in heaven." - Clint Bokelman

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To donate online

CLICK HERE !

 

 

Cheque/Money order

Please make payable to Yasemee Dorning

email me at yasemee_dorning@yahoo.com for address details

I WAS ACCEPTED!

THIS PAST WEEK I WAS ACCEPTED TO IRIS MINISTRIES HARVEST SCHOOL IN MICRONESIA!!

After telling this to a few people over the course of this week I realized one major thing:

NO ONE KNOWS WHERE THAT IS!

So here's a map! Do you see that huge arrow? And that teeny dot it's pointing too? THAT'S Micronesia!

The school is an intensive 3-month training program focusing on people who desire to go immediatley into the mission field. During the school I'll be applying to work as a long term missionary with Iris Ministires and if I am accepted immediatley after I'll be sent off!

I seriously cannot wait to begin this journey!

I will be continueing to post about my experiences as I prepare to leave, begin my fundraising process (support letters are being sent out next week!), and say goodbye to everything I have ever known! I will also continue to post about my experiences after I arrive at the school and into my missions trips afterwards! I really am so excited (and maybe a little nervous too) and can't wait to see what the Lord does in my life and the lives of others through this!


"...For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,
"Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..."
-Jeremiah 29:11

I Heard Jesus Speak Today

Today I was feeling guilty and full of shame over the sin in my life and my lack of perfection. I feel like this a majority of the time and am constantly in a state of beating myself up and trying harder to be better. It is so exhausting and disheartening because when you are under the Law, there is no hope.
Jesus called me to Him and after asking me to repent and confess these things He spoke to me the most beautiful words through a vision. I 'll share it here and I hope that if any of you struggle with these things He speaks to you through this vision as well!!


"You are my child, come to me as my child. When a child falls and gets hurt she doesn't worry about the fact that she has fallen, that maybe she isn't good enough to call out to her Daddy, she just cries out to Him and He comes and holds her. Children are sticky, covered in jam, dirt, and bleeding from their scraped knee but they don't worry about any of those things as their Daddy scoops them up, and niether does He."
Then Father God showed me a snow white owl flying over a forest at night in the light of the moon, and said, "It is beautiful." Then I saw a bee sitting on a flower, and the LORD said, "Is it good?" And I said, "Yes." Then the Lord said, "The owl is beautiful becasue I AM Beautiful, the bee is good because I AM Good." Then I saw a tree and He said, "Is it intricate, and complex, and life giving?" And I said, "Yes." Then the LORD spoke again and said, "It is intricate and complex and life giving because I AM intricate and complex and life giving."

"Yasemee. You are beautiful because I AM Beautiful. You are good, because I AM Good. And you are intricate, complex, and life giving because I AM intricate, and complex, and life giving. Be transformed my child, by the revelation that I AM within you. I AM made perfect in your weakness. It is no longer you who live, but I who live through you."

<3

A 365 Day Journey: Saying No to Makeup & Discovering My Beauty in Christ

The Holy Spirit has been speaking to me about sin in my life, about things in my life that do not glorify Him.
He is changing me and most of the time I really don't like it.

Before I knew Christ I thought all I had to offer was my appearance, at least that's what the world told me. At one point in my life the desire to appear "perfect" was so intense that I would spend HOURS trying to pick an outfit and if I couldn't I wouldn't leave the house. I'd end up blowing THOUSANDS of dollars on clothes and still not feel satisfied. I compared myself to every woman I saw, every girl who was prettier or more stylish than me was better than me. It was an exhausting way to live, but I didn't know how to get out of the cycle. Plus, if the clothes and makeup came off, who would I be? More than that, who would love me?

Once I met Christ He began teaching me that my worth isn't in my appearance, it's in Him. I thought we had dealt with it completley when I successfully abstained from wearing makeup for 3 months, but apparently the roots ran deeper than I originally thought. If there's one thing I've learned it's that Jesus isn't in the habits of only doing a job halfway, He keeps going until it's done, until He has it all.

I stopped wearing makeup four weeks ago. What was only supposed to be a two week stint slowly stretched on into three and then four. I watched the days tick by wondering when I would be allowed to wear makeup again because I felt disgusting.
Actually that's not true...
I felt disgusting when I was around other women wearing makeup, but when I wasn't around them and was focusing on Jesus I felt more free and beautiful than ever.

Then, a few days ago I had a meltdown at church. I couldn't find an outfit, my hair looked crazy, and I had no makeup on. THAT was enough to ruin my day. In fact it was so bad that when I got to church I went into a stall in the bathroom and cried. I couldn't bear the thought of facing people looking like this, I couldn't bear the thought of everyone seeing how broken and messy I was. It was visible on my naked face; I had N O T H I N G to hide behind. The only way I was able to leave the bathroom was by putting on a few coats of mascara.
The Holy Spirit was exposing the root that was still tangled down deep inside of me. The root that was claiming a space that only the Lord is supposed to occupy.


Then Holy Spirit spoke, spoke something I DID NOT want to hear.
"Make a commitment to not wear makeup for a year."

Ummmm...
do you realize what that entails?? I live in WINNIPEG! Home to some of the most street stylish people I've ever seen, a place where makeup and style run rampant and appearance is everything. More than that I have a wedding to attend in a few months! That would mean no makeup for holiday family pictures! ARE YOU CRAZY!?
I half complied and threw away all of my makeup, but I "secretly" kept it in the trashcan in my room. Just in case.
BUT HE WOULDN'T LEAVE ME ALONE. He kept saying it over and over and over.


Today I felt ugly and disgusting.
I came home and put makeup on and it was like being able to breath.
Which is pathetic.
That was the breaking point,I couldn't stand to let this have this much power over me! Not. Anymore.

I placed my tube of mascara on my dresser. Standing it straight up in the middle I got on my knees before it and looked at it, asking myself, "This or Jesus?"
The answer was painfully obvious.

I took every piece of makeup I have, all my lipsticks, shadows, creams, powders, blushes, brushes, liners and threw it away. OUTSIDE in the REAL TRASH this time (which will be picked up tomorrow morning at 5am...the Lord's timing is ironically perfect). Don't think there isn't a part of me that wants to run out and frantically dig it out, clutching it tightly to my chest because there is...

B U T
I refuse to bow down before a tube of mascara, I refuse to find my worth in ANYTHING but Jesus.
So here's to the beggining of a 365 day journey of discovering my beauty in the most beautiful man I've ever known, Jesus Christ.








"So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day...as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen." - 2 Corinthians 4:16,18

"For what is exalted by men is an abomination in the sight of God."- Luke 16:15

"Set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passoins of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct." - 1 Peter 1:13-15

The Call of Singleness: a Journey of Laying Down My Life for My Faith

I'd like to begin this post by first saying that I am in no way saying that marriage doesn't glorify the Lord or that every single person is meant to be single forever! Marriage was created to be a picture of Jesus and our relationship with Him, it was created to glorify the Earth. BUT that doesn't negate the truths in scripture about the ways singleness glorifies the Lord.

I never in a million years thought I would be called to singleness. I've always imagined being married and having children, it was a deep desire of mine before I knew Christ and after I met Him. Actually, it was a controlling desire...one that ruled my heart for the majority of my life; the idea of marriage was an idol that I worshipped and put my worth in.

After ending a un-godly relationship with an ex to seek the Lord I realized that suddenly my desire for marriage was G O N E.
At first I assumed it was bitterness towards relationship, but as I sought the Lord more more I didn't feel bitter! In fact, I felt overjoyed! For the first time in my life I could watch a romantic movie without feeling like my heart was breaking, without being cast into a tailspin of despair over my singleness. For the first time I could appreciate love, relationship, and marriage without being filled with anger towards God or loneliness. If anything I felt happy that those people could glorify God that way, but didn't feel like that was how God was asking me to glorify Him. But I still didn't believe it could be true.
My next thought was that I didn't desire marriage any longer because I was afraid of getting hurt. To an extent that is true, I am weary and fearful of betrayal, but that has never in my life stopped be from seeking out relationships with a hell-bent focus.

The more I thought about marriage and this lack of desire for it, the more I realized I felt peace, not contention, not bitterness, not fear, just peace. Scripture says that it is better to be single because the unmarried man (or woman) is anxious about the things of the Lord: how to please the Lord, while a married couple has to focus on how to please eachother. (1 Corinthians 32-43)That does glorify the Lord, but Paul says "So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better." (1 Corinthians 7:38)

I believe that church has been influenced by the dominating view of society that in order for life to have meaning we must have a romantic relationship with another person. But that is not God's truth. In fact, marriage is ONLY for this life. In Matthew 23:20 Jesus says that none of us will be married in heaven or given in marriage in heaven. It is only to display the glory of the Lord, but it is not the end goal of eternity.
The call of singleness is a CALL not a CURSE, and it is a blessing from the Lord and glorifies Him. (Getting off of my soapbox now!)

This call is one that I am afraid to answer.
Am I truly willing to say "Lord I commit to a life of purity and singleness so that I might glorify you." ? What happens if I meet someone I like? What happens in the seasons when it's hard to be single? I wasn't pure before I knew Christ, and there have been many times that I havn't been pure after, will it still be a gift of purity to the Lord?
Well as I learned at celebrate recovery, I can take Jesus into my past and my regrets but He doesn't say I was He says I AM. I can take Him into my future, all of my what ifs and fears, but His name is I AM. He wants me to live in the now and trust Him enough to follow where He leads, no matter what it may cost me.

Will I walk on the water?
EEEEK I'm scared just thinking about it. But it feels good to have something to give up for the Lord, something that requires faith and sacrifice, to have my faith cost me something.

Here is an excerpt from a sermon by John Piper that I love.

Jesus said in Matthew 19:12, “There are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.” ... But it does mean that Jesus approves that some of his followers renounce marriage and sexual activity for the sake of serving Christ’s kingdom. “Let him who is able to receive this receive it.”

For the sake of the kingdom, and to serve the Lord?
It's scary, but it's taking faith and bringing me closer and into dependance on & in Jesus.

"Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him." - 1 Corinthians 7:17




If you'd like to watch the sermon by John Piper that I quoted on singlness CLICK HERE!

He is the Reason for Everything.

"He is the reason for everything."
- Taryn Kate Neurohr

Such a simple statement,yet so incredibly profound and soul shattering. He is the reason for everything. HE is the REASON for EVERYTHING.
He is the purpose, the goal, the means and the end, the center, the focus...the reason for everything.


Jesus, I want to live as a woman of One Thing, a woman of whole hearted devotion and focus. You truly are the reason for everything, and I'm so sorry Lord for the things I've made it, when it's all about you. You are the center, you are the Living One, the Holy One of Israel, the Lamb & the Lion...before the foundations of the world you were. And you are, and you are to come. All of creation was created just to display your glory, the cross happened to display your glory, we happened to display your glory Jesus...you are the only one who is worthy. I want to lay down my desires and longings to follow your Holy ambition for my life Jesus, because you are the reason for everything. There is nothing more glorious than you. The one thing I ask and the one thing I seek Jesus is that I might dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, and gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek Him in His temple. There is no deeper love than laying down one's life for a friend, Jesus you are my friend and so I want to lay down my life for you. I want to love you with everything I am and have. I want to lay down all my desires and longing to seek after your Kingdom, to do your will, to answer your call, to walk in Holy and DEEP communion with you every day for the rest of my life.

I want to be with you all the days of my life, and then 10,000 more. How can I ever stop singing your praise? How can I ever stop desiring to know you deeper? You are without end. You are the alpha and omega, you are the Faithful Witness...You are the Reason for Everything. I was made to glorify you Jesus, I want to walk fully in that calling. Just let me sit in your courts and gaze upon your beauty. I am in awe of you.

I am a woman of One Thing. I sit at the feet of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the world may count my days as meaningless or empty, but I have chosen the good portion, the One Thing that cannot be taken away. He is the reason for everything.

How amazing is He!!

Arms Wide Open, Bleeding

It is so,so hard to love with arms wide open when all I want to do is cling as tight as I can and never have to let go again.
It's so hard to be obedient to you in this Lord. To be persistant in that obedience.

Sometimes it feels like my heart breaks a little more with each beat, and each passing second only serves to deepen the sadness I feel. I want to follow you, I want to lay it all down at your feet. I want to walk in the fullness and in the light, but there are other things I desire as well. Jesus, please help me.

You have to come and fill these places because the emptiness there is big enough to swallow me hole. You created us to live in deep relationship and community, with You and with others. And yet, I've had to lay this down. Sometimes I am angry Lord, angry at you for making me give this up, angry with myself for letting it get far enough that you had to tell me to.

I miss having someone to talk with about You for hours, without feeling like I was saying too much,without feeling like I was too much. I miss laughing at awkard pauses, I miss praying over eachother, I miss having someone who could speak your truths when I needed to hear them, and I miss having someone to pour your truths into. I miss having a friend who would draw me right into Your heart Jesus. Someone to share lifes ups and downs with, someone to share the struggle of walking with You, the joy of walking with You. I miss it all.
Jesus, I am so thankful for the time I did have. That was the deepst, most life-giving friendship I've ever experienced and I know you gave it to me right out of your hand to teach me, to discipline me,and to show me Your love. Thank you for changing my life the way you did through the beautiful and sweet, sweet heart you created in her.

"I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away."


I trust you Jesus, with her heart. Thank you for the love you showed me and continue to show me through her. I pray that the tears we've cried would one day have become something beautiful, a freedom that lets us soar to new heights. It's your love Jesus. It's your love.

"You shall love with arms wide open,
a heart exposed,
arms wide open...bleeding, sometimes bleeding."