Coming Home

Please be praying for me,

I havn't been seeking God and I've just kind of been stagnant in my faith and it's like a slow death; mold is growing on my heart and its slowly hardening. I feel like my spirit wreaks of this putrified death that I've allowed to cultivate in my heart. How do those who don't know God go around living like this? It's so empty and horrible. I HATE it here. Once you've had living water, once you've seen Jesus laugh and smile and take your hand lovingly, there really is no turning back. I used to feast on pain, on excess, on alcohol and peoples praise, I used to feast on relationship, on media, on makeup and clothes, I used to feast on dreams centered around having more... they were like ashes in my mouth.
But then one day I was walking by a well and a man offered me a drink, a sip of living water. And the death and ashes burst forth into green life full of the most beauitful, wonderful tasting fruit, full of wildflowers and tall tress. An eden bloomed in my heart at that first taste. And when I look at the state of my heart  today in comparison to that, I know the truth:
faith isn't stagnant.

Faith and love are ALIVE.
They grow and move and bloom.
But you have to tend them, you have to care for the Eden that excists in your heart or it withers and dies, overcome by weeds it strangles and chokes out. The once beautiful fruit begins to rot, and their poison seeps into your bones and into your soul, and destroys every green thing that ever lived there.

But I'm turning back now, and thankfull my beautiful, wonderful, passionate, playful God isn't back where I left Him. No, He's been following me all along. I've walked on for miles without my Jesus, but I turn around to come home and He's right there with opens arms. He never left. He whispers to me, "I have pursued you from the beggining, before time began you were mine and you will be mine long after it ends. I pursue you then & now, and I always will. I never tire of pursueing you, you are precious to me and honored. I love you."

A song by Michael Ketterer called Dusty Road captures the way I feel perfectly.
"And I've been gone, for a long time now... a wonderer, on this dusty road. And I'm crying out, I'm crying out for you God, to come to me... and lead me home.
And you meet me Father, on this dusty road. And you come with a ring, and you come with a robe. And you meeet me Father on this dusty road. And you wipe away my tears, and you lead me home."

I got a vision this morning for my life. I've been praying for a statement, for a vision statement from God of what my life ministry will be, of how I need to live each day. And today He told me my statement is this:

A life marked by devotion, holyness, and love. A life commited to showing Christ to others, and igniting a fire in the hearts of those around me. A life commited to bringing the kingdom to those who don't know him or have him yet. A life that is uncomfortable because it is full of loving broken people and giving everything I am for everything He is. A life lived for one thing and one thing alone: to surrender my heart, mind, body, and soul to Jesus Christ.


The Son is rising soon, and the night is almost done; the end is almost here and so close at hand.
I'm going to live like it.


This morning I got a vision of someone taking my hand, and as his calloused fingers weaved into mine I knowingly and lovingly looked up at my Saviour and whispered, "Hello old friend."


I have found the one whom my soul loves.
-Song of Solomon 3:4